Have you ever wondered why some people just have it all? They’re well liked by everyone they meet, financially set and attractive…but what stands out most is their beaming sense of self-confidence when they enter a room.

It’s almost as if they have a certain “presence” that gives off positive vibes.

Not everyone is this fortunate, however. There are people who are faced with low self worth, they struggle to maintain positive relationships and often feel resentful towards people who are better off than they are.

So what’s the difference? How can one person be so incredibly successful while another person constantly struggles just to get by?

The answer lies in what I call your “Invisible Lifestyle.” Your Invisible Lifestyle is what made you into the person you are today. You were literally “programmed” with the habits and beliefs that you follow today (or refuse to follow).

So who were the programmers?

Look no further than your very own parents or guardians.

It’s true. Your parents unknowingly “programmed” you to become the person you are today. The reason I say ‘unknowingly’ is because your parents raised you the best they could based on how their parents raised THEM.

Because of the “brain wiring” of your original programmers (your parents), as an adult, you are duplicating the way they lived when you were young.

For example, let’s say you were raised in a household where both of your parents were always there for you. They took an interest and encouraged you in everything you pursued.

You grew up seeing your parents work hard every day, take interest in you and treat each other with respect. As a result, you grew up to have a successful career and a happy marriage because you worked hard and treated your spouse with respect…just like your parents.

Now let’s look at another scenario…

Imagine a life where you grew up in a neglectful household. Your parents never encouraged you or took an interest in anything you did…EVER.

Your father had a negative outlook on life because of HIS traumatic childhood so all he knew how to do was raise YOU the same way that his father raised HIM.

As a result, you grew up with a negative outlook on life (just like your dad), and you have low self esteem because nobody took the time to encourage you and take an interest in you as a child.

Is this YOUR fault? NO! Of course not!

You did not ask to be “dropped” into your parents’ household. That is the “hand” you were dealt in life and now, as an adult, you’re living out the consequences.

In these two scenarios, you’re living out what I call “Invisible Lifestyle A”.

A stands for “ALWAYS”

“What you didn’t notice your parents doing as a child, you are faithfully reproducing today, and you don’t have a clue you’re doing it.”

But there IS one exception to this phenomenon…

Let’s say you grew up in a bad neighborhood with an alcoholic father. Everywhere you looked, you saw poverty, crime and hopelessness. As a child, you couldn’t wait to move out of the house. You saw your parents’ lifestyle and were DETERMINED to not only be successful, but be NOTHING LIKE YOUR PARENTS.

While you were growing up, you took the necessary steps to put yourself through school and as an adult; you have a positive self image and do everything within your power to remain financially stable.

This is known as Invisible Lifestyle B.
B stands for “BUCKING”

“What you couldn’t stand your parents doing when you grew up; you won’t stand for in your relationships today.”

Those who embrace the “B” Lifestyle, do so in defiance of their family’s values. The B Lifestyle can create the “black sheep of the family” and that goes for highly troubled families or very successful ones.

Invisible Lifestyle B has taken place when an inner city boy or girl goes on to pursue a successful career as a lawyer while each of their siblings end up in jail. On the other hand, a child from a wealthy family could go against his parents’ values by recklessly spending and eventually filing for bankruptcy as an adult.

Now I’m not telling you to place BLAME on your parents. Your parents raised you based on everything they knew at the time. It’s ALL they knew. It’s not their fault…it’s NOBODY’S “FAULT”.

The key is to understand and accept the fact that the negative values you absorbed from your parents (i.e., fear of failure, low self worth, jealousy) are programs literally “wired” into your brain.

And if you have enough discontent with these, it is very possible to change that programming in your adult life.

But simply knowing this is not enough.

You must find these programs and learn how to “decommission” them. In other words, you need to know what to do and how to do it, especially if these programs seem to dictate your behavior.

Do you do things over and over that other people might call “self sabotage”?

Are you attracted to a certain type of person you know you shouldn’t be around, yet you can’t help but feel attracted to?

The source of this behavior is one or two negative programs from your childhood.

These programs will prevent you (or your loved ones) from a better life.

If your parents’ programmed you with some negative values that are causing you problems in your life today…it’s NOT your fault…but it IS your responsibility to do something about it.

You can start by thinking about how each situation in your life today is directly affected by your Invisible Lifestyle.

The more you discuss your childhood memories of the way things were, the more you become consciously aware of them and the easier they will be to “decommission”.

Over an entire lifetime, most people will not make the connection between their behavior as an adult and how their parents lived during their childhood.

They will accept their parent’s values without questioning anything, never knowing the REAL reason they continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.

But now YOU know better than that. Don’t live your life with a blindfold on. Create a better future by first identifying and then eliminating the values from your parents that are causing you trouble today.

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Weight Motivation

Proper weight motivation can be the difference between success and failure to your weight loss goals.  It should be noted that the key to a successful exercise program is perseverance. This means that you need to commit to it for the long haul—in fact, it is best if you commit to it for the rest of your life. Certainly, it can be difficult at times. But in the end, it is well worth the effort you exert.

Staying motivated may begin with having a tangible goal. For instance, if you are basically inactive when you start your program, you should aim to burn off 500 calories a week. If you are fairly active when you start exercising, your goal should be 1,000 calories. But you must also have a long-term goal. This might be doubling the amount of calories you burn within six months of commencing your exercise program.

You might consider starting an exercise log. Here, you will record exactly what kind of aerobic, anaerobic, and stretching exercises you do each week. Be sure to include the number of repetitions you’re performing with each exercise. This way, you’ll have a concrete chart for your progress. Seeing how well you’re doing can be truly inspiring and can keep you going when you find it difficult to go on.

Another effective weight motivational strategy is to join a group that engages in some kind of exercise. For instance, you might become a mall-walker or you might find a local square dance club to join. Other possibilities include hiking groups, golfing groups, softball teams, or even ping-pong teams. The fact that you are part of a social network will help to keep you motivated.

You might try psyching yourself out by using a computer screensaver which says, “Get moving.” Or you might post a “get moving” sign on your refrigerator. In other words, you should be constantly reminded of the value of exercise. You might also invest in home exercise equipment such as a treadmill, elliptical trainer, or free weights. The amount of money you spend could be a powerful incentive for making sure that you use the equipment on a regular basis. You should also place the equipment in a prominent place so that you have to pass it often. After a while, you’ll find no excuse not to exercise.

You might also consider investing in exercise videos or DVDs. These allow you the convenience of exercising in the privacy of your own home. They can also give you an electronic “exercise buddy” who can help keep you inspired even on rainy days when you don’t feel like exercising at all.

Another effective idea is to place your athletic shoes near the door so that you are reminded of the need to walk rather than drive. You might also consider rewarding yourself for keeping with your exercise program. Your reward could be as elaborate as a cruise or as small as a treat from the dollar store. The idea is to make sure that your accomplishment is celebrated.

While we’re on the topic of celebration, seriously consider throwing a party once you’ve reached an exercise milestone. You can serve nutritious snacks and beverages and even encourage your guests to come in their athletic wear in order to build upon the party’s theme. Sharing your joy can help to motivate you to continue your physical activities.

It should be said that there is no right way to exercise. But you do need to make sure that whatever you do is effective and that you’re sufficiently motivated to do it. By following just a few simple tips, you can ensure that your exercise routine is not just a fad, that it will continue over the long term. Remember that you may face setbacks from time to time, but that shouldn’t stop you from continuing to try to reach your exercise goals.  Just keep in mind that the goal of weight motivation is to cause a permanent healthy lifestyle with natural weight loss.

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Pursue your dreams at all cost.  I am reminded of Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness. When he realized he had discouraged his son’s dream, he encouraged his son by telling him to protect any dream he had and not to allow anyone to steal it. I think that message is crucial for us today as well. With the state of the economy, uncertainty is more certain than anything else. We all need the confidence that a better tomorrow is possible.

So what’s your dream? We all have one. What is the one thing or maybe a few things you would love to do? For me, my dream is to be a #1 New York Times bestselling author. My dream is to create training materials for prisoners, young men in juvenile facilities and inmates recently released from prison. My dream is to make a difference in the lives of others. My dream, like Les Brown says it, is to make a statement with my life.

I realize how easy it is to read something inspiring and fail to take the necessary action that will lead change. I want you to do something for yourself. Take out a sheet of paper and write down (ONE) thing you would like to achieve or accomplish this month.

It’s sometimes difficult to dream big when the pressures of life are weighing on us. That’s why I want you to choose one small goal you can work on everyday. Choose something that will propel you forward due to it’s importance to you.  I am here to validate within you that any goal of any size is totally possible for you to achieve.

Breaking down huge goals into bite sized steps is the quickest way to build your self confidence while  moving closer to your dreams.

As you pursue your dreams, just know that I believe in you and your success.

Pursue your dreams and don’t allow anyone to steal your dream.

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I know, I know, it’s no surprise that I’m posting another Les brown video.  I am extremely fond of Mr. Brown for the power of his messages and the value he delivers to other people’s lives.  He offers real live examples from his own life.  He shows that he’s just a regular guy who had a dream and the passion and confidence to turn that dream into reality.  This message will motivate, inspire and challenge you to become your personal best.  I hope you feel the same way after viewing it.  Also, feel free to leave a comment and post to Twitter and Facebook after viewing.  Without further adieu, here’s Les:

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As you know, this site is dedicated to helping you change what and how you (myself included) think so that success however we define it can easily be attracted to us.  I like and appreciate this video because after watching this video, it is no surprise that Will is as successful as he is.  So, enjoy this video.  It is well worth your time.

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A lot of people are guilty of waiting until the last minute to do something vital. Some people say that they really have a lot of work to start with, and some things simply have to wait on the back burner and thus end up being done at the last minute. Other people say that they like the energy of the last minute working schedule, where they are driven nearly entirely by adrenalin.

Still, other people use the excuse of procrastination to look like they are working hard on something, when all that they have done is to wait until the last minute in order to look like they really have a lot to work with, when they could have done things small by small every day and still met the deadline without going through the stress.In any case, procrastination is hard to deal with, and if you get used to it, it can be a hard habit to get rid of, much less deal with. In fact, procrastination in school can only be the terrible beginning to a clumsy career, and if you procrastinate all your life, you may as well place yourself in the hospital or the stress will mess with you and your family. On the other hand, if you want to help someone do better and get themselves out of the procrastination habit, then you can use the following tips to motivate them to get off their bottoms and start working:

- Don’t be self-righteous. You were a procrastinator, too, and you may have fallen into the Last Minute Trap at one time or another. The key to motivating anyone is to show them that they can get out of the habit because someone has done it before. Talk to them about your own experiences.

You can compare your work quality between something that you did when you were near a deadline and something that you did small by small and passed on time without worrying whether you would really turn up alive at passing time. You can also compare what the last minute work did to your health, and how you were able to get yourself to do better.

- Set a excellent example. It will not do your apprentice any excellent if you as the master are as terrible a procrastinator, or even worse. You cannot motivate someone to change if you do not show them how, so be prepared to show your stuff as you meet your own deadlines.

- Be open to questions. A procrastinator can be willing to change, and you may have some advice to offer.

- Offer the person rewards for a deadline well met, say a few days before. If this person is your child or sibling, you can offer money or a treat at a nearby restaurant as a reward. If this person is your co-worker or classmate, then treat yourselves to a movie or a game night if you are able to meet your deadlines well.

- The opposite works, too: if you are not able to procrastinate, find a way to slightly punish yourselves, say by cleaning your house or apartment, not going out for a few rounds of beer, or not spending over $5 for your dinner out.

- Encourage the person to set their own deadlines. Having a deadline days or weeks before the real deadline can make them more motivated since they’re breaking their own records!

For a Proven system designed to help you Break Through procrastination and start taking Immediate Action, visit DefeatingProcrastination.com

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Thank you for visiting and please leave a comment so I can know what you think of the video.  I absolutely live the powerful, positive messages from Les Brown.  He motivates and inspires me like no other.  I appreciate him because just like me, he had to overcome many challenges to reach the pinnacle of his success.  Les comes from the perspective that if ANYONE has been successful doing what you want to do, you can be successful as well. 

I believe that’s something we need to be reminded of.  Too often we allow circumstances dictate our mood, behavior and even expectations.  We must become aware of the power we possess and intentionally create the lives we desire. 

Here are two powerful videos that will help you do just that.

Les Brown – Live Full, Die Empty

It’s Not Over ’til I Win

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Do you want to put a smile on someone’s face? Maybe make their day a little bit brighter? It doesn’t have to take much time or money on your part. In fact, many things can be done as a part of your normal routine and cost little or nothing. You won’t know how many people are encouraged by your kindness because smiles are contagious. Try out one or more of these 7 ways today to brighten someone’s day.

1. Write an encouraging note to others that have encouraged you or that need encouragement. Handwritten notes that are given to encourage, not just for thanking someone for a gift, are rare. That makes handwritten notes even more special. Start a new practice of sitting down and writing an encouraging note on a regular basis. You just might start an epidemic!

2. Take a friend out to lunch or invite her to your home for a meal. You will get to know each other even better than you do right now. If you feel like being more adventurous, throw a party for several of your friends and put smiles on a multitude of faces.

3. Give someone an inspirational book to read. You will feel good doing it, reading the book will change the person, and they will think of you every time they read it.

4. Ask a friend or relative if you can take care of their kid(s) for a day or evening. If you have been a parent, you know the value of being able to have a few hours of “adult time” without worrying about the children. Don’t wait to be asked to baby-sit when it is required. Offer to do it at a time when the parent can do something fun and relaxing.

5. Deliver a meal to someone you know that is sick or having a rough time. We have all been sick and know the last thing you want to do is be out of bed. There are also times when life is tough and it is hard to do all of the daily chores. You can be a tremendous help by providing a meal that can be enjoyed.

6. Volunteer time to supporting your local church or charity. Every minute you dedicate to a church or charity will cause many smiles. You will put a smile on the face of each leader just for helping without being asked. You will also be putting smiles on the faces of those that are being helped through the organization.

7. Thank everyone that supports you throughout the day. The list of those that you come in contact with is endless. Remember family and friends, secretaries, co-workers, teachers, Sunday school teachers, pastors, store employees, janitors, gas station attendants, those that deliver your mail and newspaper, and servers at restaurants.

I know this is a list of 7 ways to put a smile on someone’s face, but there is one more way that can’t be ignored. Reveal a genuine smile to everyone you meet. You will experience how easy it is to get others to smile!

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I came across this incredible video.  It shows how a young man pushed past all of his limitatations and surprised himself concerning what was possible for him to succeed.  I know you will enjoy it as well.

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